Gurusha Singh’s Web

It’s almost over, and I will

Is this ever going to get “easier?” It’s very difficult to relax and get to a good point with the segmented pranayam. I often feel like I don’t have room for more breath after the second segment and I try to “top off” the breath, but it feels strained. But if I try to leave room for the third segment by taking smaller sips in the first two I feel short of breath.

I’ve been using my watch to beep every 15 seconds, I’ve also used my “Invisible Timer” a couple of times I couldn’t find my watch. It definitely helps though the first segment since it includes the exhale portion is a little shorter than I would hold it were I to count beginning only after the inhale is completed and the holding starts. Not sure how to modify this, so I think I’ll just stick with it. Perhaps a better way would be to use a ticking second hand and just count mentally up to 15 tics for each segment. Then I could avoid including the time spent exhaling in the first segment.

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I can’t wait until this phase of the meditation is over, I can tell I’m already moving past the “this is neat” phase and quickly moving toward the “I dislike this” phase. I wonder how long it will take to break that threshold into the “I love this!” phase!

Today was much easier. I believe not drinking any coffee before the mediation helped greatly. Also I felt more relaxed about the whole thing. I need some kind of metronome or something to mark off the seconds. That would help me stay in a meditative state and not keep watching the seconds tick off. Counting the seconds internally seems too inaccurate. I noticed as I was watching the seconds tick off on my timer that some seconds seemed to take longer than others subjectively!

Playing around with my watch, the timer function allows you to set a countdown timer and have it repeat.  I’ve used this before but the alarm was kind of annoying.  I discovered that if the time is less than a minute, it uses a soft beep instead of the annoying alarm.  Perfect for this I think! online pharmacy without prescriptionbuy silverbuy detoxbuy italian charmsdownload softwareonline pharmacy no prescriptioncanadian pharmacydownload moviesfarmacia en lineainternet drugstoremovie downloadmexican pharmacybuy gift basketsbuy levitrabuy hoodiaprescription drugsdownload moviebuy dvdcheap auto insurancebuy jewelrybuy jewelry onlinecheap online pharmacybuy alcohol testdownload filmdownload musicdownload mp3prescription drugsbuy notebook batterydownload moviesonline pharmacybuy charmsbuy piercingpiercingflash games onlinebuy propecia onlinesearchpiercingno prescription pharmacyonline pharmacyonline pharmacy no prescriptiondownload moviescanadian pharmacybuy soma onlinebuy carisoprodol onlineitalian charmsindian pharmacybuy viagra onlinegeneric viagra onlinebuy levitra onlinegeneric cialis onlineonline pharmacy without prescriptionno prescription online pharmacytransformers movieeuropean online pharmacyprivate porn moviesbuy phentrimine onlineonline pharmacy no prescriptionbuy jewelry onlinejewelry shopsilver shophealth articlespass a drug testbuy oem softwareeuropean pharmacydvd movies

Kundalini Yoga has a unique blend of both physical and spiritual excercise.  I believe this accounts for it’s limited appeal in some parts of the world where people have a difficult time connecting body and spirit.  It seems much of the world is caught in the idea that the physical body is ugly, or to be hidden away, least it somehow spoil the spiritual aspects of our beings.

In response, this poor image of the body/spirit relegates yoga to health clubs and sporting activities, where people who lean toward the physical spectrum of the dichotomy already are comfortable spending lots of time working out so they feel better about how they look.  Most of these environments either remove the spiritual aspects of yoga completely or do their best to hide it behind a curtain.  Walk into many yoga classes and mostly you’ll see young pysically attractive people who already appear to be pretty fit.

Kundalini Yoga is different. Not only do we need to apply self discipline to do physical excersize, we need to learn to love ourselves, love life, and even love funny looking toes, chubby tummies and receding hairlines.  As a result Kundalini Yoga classes are sometimes a little different. It’s not that unusual to see a wider range of ages and body types.  Kundalini Yoga teachers talk about becoming one with God and raising conciousness to higher levels.

Kundalini Yoga deserves it’s reputation as “the Spiritual Yoga” though all yoga has spirit in it’s deep roots.  I feel in some ways it’s being marketed out in the search for popularity. Let’s not make the same mistake and hide our spirituality behind curtains and euphemisisms until it’s only a dusty picture in the corner or a subect for mere historical curiousity.

One of the first things you’ll notice in a Kundalini Yoga space is often an altar or table with pictures of various saints, gurus, gods and other images made sacred by their placement.  This is what first attracted me to Kundalini Yoga and led me to the conclusion that I’d found a yoga that wasn’t afraid to embrace the union of body and spirit.

Part of our homework for the Conscious Communication module I just completed this weekend, is a meditation called “Meditation to Break  the Mask.” We’re to do this 31 minute mediation for 90 days.

The meditation calls for a difficult breathing pattern:

• Inhale 1/3 of your breath capacity, hold breath for 15 seconds
• Inhale next 1/3 of your breath capacity, hold breath for 15 seconds
• Inhale last 1/3 of your breath capacity, hold breath for 15 seconds
• Exhale and repeat the segmented Pranayam for 15 minutes.

Then you chant a specific mantra for 11 minutes and repeat the breathing pattern another 5 minutes. You do this while holding a particular mudra.

Today was my first day and I’m finding this kind of pranayam very challenging. You seem constantly on the verge of not having enough breath. It’s also very difficult to measure without distraction 1/3 of your breath. The easiest way I found was by concentrating on the parts of the lungs, and first filling the lungs using the adbdomal breathing techniques, then lift the diaphraghm higher to get the mid to upper part of the lungs, and finally fill the upper part of the lungs. This is called “Complete Breath.” It’s difficult partly because these three segments are not exactly equal in terms of volume of air, it’s too easy to get most of your lungs filled with the first segment and not have enough room to top it off with much air for the second and third segments.

I can see how this pranayam also hits some very interesting mental and psychological and emotional aspects. Fears of being out of control, of being unsure where your next breath is coming from, of suffocating, drowning, many of these kinds of semi-involuntary reactions are brought up to the surface. Gradually I can see how this will create a much more stable and controlled understanding of the breath.

It’s going to be a challenging 90 days but I’m also really looking forward to finding out how I’ll be experiencing this after spending that much time refining and working on the practice.

Here are a few excerpts from some of the flashwriting exercises

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